We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know

How’s that for a redundant title? Well it’s true, let me tell ya! Now some of you may be thinking how original Mr. Sherlock, but as always just bear with me for a moment or two as I lay out my racing thoughts on the page before your eyes.


I recently shared a discussion with a friend who has suffered a great deal from none other than the individuals one would think could only offer love, support, warmth, guidance, protection, and so on. I.e. their family. Now granted most of us know the sting on a personal level; that is how unrelenting and unyielding a narcissistic (or psychopathic) abuser managing a group can be, especially when they’re supposedly what the majority of society views as blood-bound and unshakable in relation to its established sense of inclusive bonds.

What can I say, a majority of us still operate with a tribal mentality! Don’t believe me? Well think of it this way: sports, politics, religion, gender, class, and so on. What do they all have in common? The idea or notion that one must stick with a group in order to function adequately on the basis they will derive the feeling of belonging to something greater than themselves, but more importantly to perpetuate the existence of the group itself. Strength in numbers…

Or in a family’s case (at least in biological terms) to increase the likelihood the tree will continue growing branches. I.e. passing genes along much like most if not all living beings do at some point throughout the life cycle. Because hey, who wants to become extinct? In any case, you should get where I’m coming from by now because we’re about to move on to a scenario in which the group purposefully turns on a single member for lack of a better word.

Now why in the hell would this even happen if survival is the driving focus? In summation, I present the following image because I can.


In other words, some people simply don’t care who or what is harmed by their actions because they have the ability to commit violence against others without feeling any bit of remorse for their distasteful actions. So if you didn’t already know (and hopefully you don’t), it really sucks when the group you identify with rejects you left and right without batting an eye. This is particularly true if it concerns your family considering one’s family essentially symbolizes home in a nutshell!

Thus it’s really easy for someone to feel like garbage if their own home won’t accept them, and this in turn makes it extremely difficult for those alienated to develop a sense of self-worth. So back to my friend for a sec! Long story short, their family has been making them feel like garbage by constantly gas-lighting, triangulating, and creating ripples in the pool by spreading lies and rumors.

Coming to the conclusion that one’s family won’t accept them and may even be purposefully treating them like garbage is hard enough to consider, let alone accept. But then the situation becomes even worse when that same individual turns on themselves by thinking or even saying they’re dumb for sticking around for so long even though they didn’t know any different.

But there’s a catch at the end of that thought/statement – even though they didn’t know any different. Once again, we don’t know what we don’t know. So we shouldn’t resort to beating ourselves up because we wanted to believe our family wanted us. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up because we wanted to feel connected to our family. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up because we wanted to give and receive love to our family.


Instead, we need to recognize our own inherent worth and value. Now what might that be if we currently don’t know what that is? How about the fact we’re alive and exist in the first place? I mean after all, there probably aren’t any copies of you running around the surface of Venus, Mars, or Saturn…

In other words, life is rare and should be treated as such. So regardless of where you are in life, what you believe, how you see the world, how you connect with the universe, etc., you deserve to enjoy the life that was given to you because your life has value and worth even if you don’t already know it to be true! No one should suffer violence, but unfortunately there’s a possibility some will throughout their lifetime at some point in time.

Live and let live, but don’t commit violence against others and don’t allow others to commit violence against you. We all deserve to enjoy our lives to the fullest without suffering. Period. End of story. Expect the best and nothing less, and remember that it’s okay that we don’t know what we don’t know because we have the power to choose alternative paths in life once we’ve gained new levels of understanding.

Peace and Many Blessings!

Ladies and Gents, My Life Has Value

Free Ebooks (narcissism, CPTSD, healing)

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