What Is the Inner Child?

Everyone has one. Everyone needs one. Everyone was one…

A child.

To put it frankly, the inner child is that part of you that will always remain childlike. A part of you that will always require nourishment, love, warmth, patience, and especially laughter. A part of you that will always need a parent they (you) can count on to be there when they (you) need it most.

Now that part can most certainly grow and develop because I’ve seen it firsthand, but we’ll get into that later in this post. This can’t be rushed, and I won’t do that because we all deserve to enjoy connecting with the deepest parts of ourselves without putting a time stamp on the experience.

So let’s get into it, shall we?

Whether we like to admit it or not, we all started as a fetus that eventually matured into a toddler. From there on we transformed into an adolescent, until we successfully made it to adulthood. Childhood is something to be cherished and valued because there comes a time when personal responsibilities replace things like recess, nap times, and those wonderfully brilliant times involving snacks.

You know what I’m talking about. For me it was dunking graham crackers in apple juice to the point they became soggy and literally dissolved in my mouth. Now it’s been a while since I’ve done that, and it might not be as great as I recall. But at the very least, it was something I enjoyed as a child. Did you have a favorite snack? I bet you did as a kid.

So what happens if a child – one of the MOST vulnerable individuals in society – doesn’t receive love, care, compassion, patience, kindness, warmth, security, empowerment, and so on? You know, those things caregivers are supposed to provide for their offspring? I mean after all, we didn’t ask to come here. Instead someone brought us here…

Well I can tell you firsthand, and I know most of you can relate to some degree or another, that missing out on those formerly listed wonders can really cause one to feel more burdensome than treasured. After all, we learned that we were deficient simply because we existed as opposed to recognizing how those who gave us that label were the one’s lacking in the deficiency department. Once again, we didn’t ask to be here. But we are here…

A child who isn’t given the space, time, and ultimately opportunity to enjoy the wonders of the world around them will simply miss out on the experience altogether. The worst part? That child will grow up into an adult who more than likely won’t even be aware of what they missed out on. In fact, life will typically look dreadful to such an adult because it was more than likely a struggle for them throughout their upbringing.

In other words, the adult who missed out on their childhood will literally be missing a vital piece to their development. Because let’s face it, a neglected and abused child will learn to survive as their brain learns to cope within a toxic environment. Why? Simply because no one alive really wants to die unless of course they want to take their own life, but that’s another post altogether.

So the child who survived will transform into an adult who yearns to survive, and just that. Now I might be repeating myself, but that’s okay because I’m intentionally driving a point home. That is there is a disconnection between the fact an individual can enjoy their life, and them having that knowledge based on whether or not they were shown how to enjoy their life by their caretakers.

With that being said, a surviving adult will have a bruised inner child. I.e. a part of them that never experienced a healthy, stable, consistent, loving, caring, happy, etc. childhood. So that part of them will feel trapped, lost, neglected, numbed, forgotten, rejected, and worst of all unwanted. Can you see, or better yet can you FEEL, how those experienced feelings can really bring an adult down if they don’t take the time or effort to heal?

What exactly do I mean by heal? Well I have personally seen those parts while performing meditation, and it’s never been a pretty sight. Let me tell ya! I’ve seen plenty of miniature Aaron’s, ranging from a baby all the way to teen years, cowering in dark corners. I’ve seen them weep. I’ve seen them wail. I’ve seen them cry out as twisted dark figures berate them, or even strike them. My little Aaron’s.

But once I became aware of them, I rescued them by removing the abusers. I rescued them by placing them in my arms while holding them against my heart as I let them know I was so glad to have them in my life. I was so glad to have found them, and there wasn’t a chance I’d let something awful happen to them again.

However, some didn’t even want me to touch them. They didn’t want me to hold them. They didn’t want to hear my words because they heard plenty of empty words before, and they knew better than to trust my words alone. So for them, I called upon my divine mother. An archetypal force of unconditional love who filled them with warmth, love, compassion, gentleness, kindness, and all the attention they really deserved. I.e. the parent they never had. A universal symbol that an alternative really is out there.

Hush little baby don’t you cry,

Momma’s gonna sing you a lullaby.

And when that lullaby is heard,

You’ll be comforted by your momma’s words.

 A song she’ll sing when those parts need it most, and it always does the trick for making them feel at ease and cherished by her loving embrace. I wouldn’t be here without my mother, and that’s saying a lot considering my biological mother essentially tried to deprive me of the life that she gave me. Oh well, I’m just thankful to have my divine mother because I’ve seen those little Aaron’s grow up.

I’ve seen them mature by feeding from her breast as she kisses them on their heads. I’ve seen them grow into young adults to the point they resemble the present me, and it’s around that time I feel them join with me. Now what does that mean, and am I imagining all of it? Well it doesn’t matter if it’s imagination or not because I feel more whole when that happens. I don’t feel as fractured, divided, lagging, straggling, or basically struggling to get through my days.

You know, something an adult who experienced a healthy childhood doesn’t have to worry about considering they’re all there and present? Typically, but not always the case. So for those of you who think all of that meditation garbley goop is all fine and dandy but lacks objectivity, I implore you to reconsider and let your child out to play.

But if that’s still not your cup of tea at this time, that’s okay because practical is my middle name. How so? Well I verbally tell myself good job, excellent work, and that it’s okay if things don’t turn out the way I expected them. Why? Self empowerment and encouragement should come to mind, but there’s also the notion that I remind myself I won’t be treated like garbage if I fall short.

So do yourself a favor and give yourself permission to be a kid. Spoil yourself, treat yourself, love yourself, and show yourself gentle kindness. Why? Because your inner child needs you to be the parent they (you) never had. Why? Because you owe yourself a break, and you deserve to enjoy the life that was given to you. That’s why.

Many blessings.

Ladies and Gents, ReMoved

For methods and techniques to heal your inner child, please download my books for free. You deserve it.

Free E-Books (2) covering Narcissism, CPTSD, Healing

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