It’s been quite sometime since I last wrote a blog, but I’ll be as honest as I’ve always been when I say that I needed to take a hiatus.
Why? Well I got a little (and by little I mean HULK SMASH) angry and smashed my phone to bits when I noticed that no one responded to my last request for help and assistance two weeks after the fact.
Thank you to the anonymous reviewer who recently left some kind words for my books!!!
So like I said, I got angry and ended up smashing my phone in the confines of my bedroom until it broke and had to be replaced. I know some of y’all be like:
Or even like:
Some of you might even be thinking I needed to attend an anger management class, but think about it…
How would you react if you spent hours, literally weeks and even months, working on something that you offered for free but didn’t receive any sort of recognition when you specifically asked for it? All I asked was for people who accessed my books to say something about them, but I got nadda after two weeks of waiting.
So a broken phone led to a replacement phone, which inevitably led to me attempting to draw up passwords and contacts. But even that failed because my mind was in a fog, and the universe literally told me to sit down and take a break.
How, might you ask?
Well the fact I couldn’t draw up my account on WordPress in order to write more blogs basically told me that I needed to redirect my focus and attention towards other things.
What things, might you ask?
Me. Self-development. Growth. Healing.
Those things I have left in my world as a hermit who always puts one foot in front of the other no matter what life happens to throw my way. So I’ve been eating potatoes mixed with rice and soy sauce, homemade shakes with banana + peanut butter + oats + almond milk(no dairy), and entire heads of raw cabbage (throughout the week, not in one sitting of course) because I have to eat something on a budget. You know – that thing economic classes don’t teach in public schools throughout a child’s development.
It’s all good though because constricting my diet has allowed me to bridge more communication between my subconscious and conscious. Seriously – if you eat clean, you’ll feel clean and see more of your innards than you ever thought possible (both literally and metaphorically).
PLUS I’ve gotten a handle on the whole “Let’s not resort to Hulk Smashing things whenever life hands us a turd sandwich” line of thinking by recognizing the silver lining in the challenges I’ve faced. Especially the one’s I’ve overcome! I also finally managed to access my blog today after I opened myself up to the notion (THOUGHT) I could do just that because I love writing and helping others. Look what that positive line of thinking produced…
Just in this week alone I asked a girl out who completely blew me off (even after we set the date the day I asked her), and just yesterday I asked for a girl’s phone number when the opportunity came knocking.
So how did I react to the first let down? Well I spent an hour telling myself aloud (while making dinner because I was hungry) that I was disappointed because I was really looking forward to walking with a girl while getting to know her. But I also recognized that I’d probably see her again, and she may have just been testing me since she knows very little about me (to see if I’m a Hulk Smash kinda guy…).
More importantly – I told myself I don’t know her reasons for blowing me off, but it’s her loss and I’m proud of myself for actually overcoming my fear of asking a girl out in the first place! For those of you who don’t know, I used to have trouble even making eye contact with people in general…
So asking a girl out on a date, being blown off, and then making a soft landing supported by confidence and positivity is a sign to me that I’ve made huge progress!!!
Now what about the second girl from yesterday (some of you may be asking)?
Unlike the first girl who I’ve seen at a local store a few times (check out counter), this gal volunteers at a local animal shelter that I also happen to frequent with one of my disabled clients. Why? Because animals are cool, that’s why! (cats and dogs) In any case, yesterday was the second time I’ve seen her and I didn’t let the opportunity pass to snag her contact info.
Well I asked for her number and she gave it to me. What’s better yet is that we were both invited to a social gathering (i.e. first date is already set for next week without me having to lift a finger). I then waited an hour or two before texting her that I was glad to see her again, and I wished for her to have a good weekend so as to not appear desperately thirsty for contact. Not to mention the fact my hermit alarms were going off while internally yelling “WHEN ARE WE GOING TO HAVE TIME TO SPEND ALONE???” (we as in me – yes, don’t worry about it because everyone has internal dialogue)
Well thankfully she responded back in less than four minutes telling me she planned on having a date night with one of her girlfriends this weekend, and that she was also glad to see me again.
So do I know what’s on the horizon?
But I can say for sure that I’m really excited to be tackling new challenges because I don’t have to contend with those blasted critics (inner/outer) ever again! Why? Because CPTSD is not the end. In fact, it’s a challenge that CAN be overcome so one can focus their energy and time on LIVING their life to the FULLEST.
There was a time when I didn’t concern myself with things like greeting people, let alone asking women to spend time with me. So what changed? I did. I used the methods in my second book to bring about radical changes in my lifestyle, and it’s taken me time to get to where I am now. But that time is nothing compared to the amount of time I spent being abused and neglected by those who were entrusted to care for me.
So please, check out my books (which are available for FREE) and take the time to read through them (especially the second) so you can have the opportunity to either augment what you’re currently doing to heal from years of abuse, or access something you’ve never had the chance to use that will greatly benefit you in ways you can’t imagine.
Because it works, that’s why.
How do I know?
Because I’m a living testament that it does, that’s how I know. I.e. I live what I preach by doing what I say.
What have you got to lose?
Nothing because your life has value, and we ALL deserve to enjoy the life that was given to us since life is rare and should be treated as such. It’s not your fault you were treated less-than, but it’s your responsibility to heal because no one else can do the work for you. Take the reigns and get through the pain because you can overcome that which holds you down.
Featured Image: Imgur – zkid10