C-PTSD narcissism

Words of Wisdom

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift.

That is why it is called the PRESENT.

Everybody was kung fu fight-eeing!

(you know you sang it)

Hey there, everyone ūüôā

Kung Fu Panda is a marvelous series this author had only recently found. Now he understands that he’s late to the show, although he would have you know that it’s all good in his hood.


Well simply because Mother Earth never stopped turning on account of his cultural depravity.

However, the author in question would have the reader know that he started with the third before visiting the first.

As for the second?

It’s a work in progress.

In any case, this author will no longer digress.

 For to do so may put you all to rest.

Jokes aside, let’s jump down the rabbit hole…

The world looks awfully wretched to those who have suffered abuse.

Especially at the hands of caretakers who were entrusted to provide security, love, nourishment, compassion, and warmth.

However, the point of this post is not to highlight the¬†deprivation of one’s childhood – thus resulting in the development of C-PTSD and all of the wonderful life experiences produced from such dysfunction.

But why?

Well for starters, it is difficult to envision a life of happiness when one is constantly battling themselves.

Then would the solution not be to make peace with oneself?

Oh for sure, although this is easier said than done when your mind noodle is unable to produce anything functional.

It’s okay.

It’s not your fault and it never was.

You didn’t drop the ball.

Your caretakers did.

So what does that mean?

You get the opportunity to struggle for the rest of your life because the universe truly is a cold concoction of dualistic dysfunction.

Hmmm…this author disagrees with that last statement.

Why? Because I said so.

Just kidding, but in all seriousness – our bodies are approximately comprised of 37.2 trillion cells that mutually work to ensure the survival of the whole. Various cell groupings form micro-communities called tissues, while those same tissues come together to develop systems that maintain homeostatic equilibrium so one can manage to roll out of bed everyday.

Does it sound complicated?

If you answered yes, you’re right because it is.

Regardless of how miraculous the body is, the important notion to take is that it CAN be done.

Life can thrive as often as it dies.


 According to the Planetary Habitability Laboratory, there are up to 160 planets within  33.6 light years from our Father Sun that could potentially resemble our precious Mother Earth.

As for the speculative number of habitable planets? A whopping 32 in total.

Worry not if none of that made sense because this author is neither a scientist, nor does he have interest in googling the respective unit conversions.

However, the number 32 (potentially habitable planets) is something this author can run with confidently.

The Habitable Universe (closest to home)

How many of those 32 respective planets have you personally set foot on?


Same here.

Okay then, did you know how big the universe is in relation to our precious Mother Earth?

The Universe Scale

TL;DR it’s pretty big.

But still,

Xen Orchestra

Do you honestly think there’s nothing more to this universe than the abuse your mind noodle has suffered?

This author urges the reader in mind to reconsider.

In other words, this author encourages the reader to THINK again.

You CAN create a life worth living, no matter how broken you perceive yourself to be.

But I can’t see it!!

Then open your eyes.

Here’s a down-to-Mother-Earth scenario from an author who used to struggle everyday to capture a sense of belonging and purpose.

Why? Because C-PTSD sucks, that’s why.


The boy returned home from a long day’s work, though the stresses of his daily routine kept him from venturing beyond the confines of the studio apartment he made claim.

Regardless, his furry companion happily greeted the groveling child as he lumbered haphazardly into the residence.

Hi Zeak!¬†he recounted with some variable degree of glee. For the very sight of his beloved cat brought a sense of purpose and meaning to what little remained of the boy’s identity.

The kitty was swiftly enveloped in the arms of his appointed caretaker, at which time his little noggin was peppered with kisses and expressions of love.

Purring. Oh the delight that was sensed to hear and feel the four-legged companion’s acceptance of the kindness shared at that¬†PRESENT¬†moment in time.

For it would not last.

The boy quickly set in motion the gears that drove his maddened routines of mind-numbing complacency.

His focus soon turned towards the computer so as to throw himself down the rabbit hole to escape the realities of his isolation.

Even though another being of sentience shared the very space he called home.

But it mattered not because the boy’s mind was trained to neglect those he was destined to care for.

After all, he was raised by monsters.

This was especially made apparent when that same beloved companion would act out so as to garner the attention he so rightfully deserved.

The boy would respond, though his disposition was less than cordial.

Don’t do A, B, C, D, etc. STOP BEING YOU!!!¬†he would say in spiteful frays as his voice boomed throughout the confined space.

Zeak would often run to hide, fearing he had incurred the wrath of Zeus himself!

Under the bed he would fly, most likely to cry for the sorry state of living he was subjected.

Whereas the boy in question would return without a second thought to the drivel of pixels pouring forth from the screen that ensnared his focus.


 Thankfully no.

For this writer has worked to uproot the fault-ridden programming his own caretakers bestowed on his little noggin.

He recognizes the need to show interest in those who share space with his being.

Thus it is with great pleasure this writer can say that he now actively partakes in the lives of those he loves.

Play sessions are no longer a drag because he notices the changes in his kitty’s mood and behavior alike.

He understands how lovely the PRESENT can be when thought and care are coupled to produce lasting memories.

Now is he the best playmate in the world? That is the man in question.

To be honest? No.

However, that man is no longer the boy he was less than a year ago.

He no longer lashes out intentionally to prove points or to show disapproval.

For he realizes how wasteful such measures are in regards to their helpfulness with establishing functional relationships.

But alas the point is this – this writer no longer abuses the furry companion who has accompanied him throughout this crazy trip one may call life.

Instead he works to encourage that kitty’s existence, for he knows that kitty doesn’t have to exist.

For now – it’s what we have to work with.

The PRESENT can be changed to create a life worth living.

But we must first accept what is before we can change it to something better.

Ladies and gents, let’s ascend to Valhalla

Many Blessings


Featured Image: Pinterest

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