healing from trauma narcissism

Healing Is a Process Unlike Any Other

Dreams are hilariously ridiculous if one merely skims the surface as opposed to connecting symbols with their deeper meanings. Hurricanes, spiders, and fire – Oh my! How in the hell could any of those things be connected? Especially when you couple them with the process of healing from narcissistic abuse and years of familial rejection. But alas, down the rabbit hole we go…

To interpret a symbol within a dream is to recognize how one relates to it, or rather what thoughts/feelings are immediately attached to the objects in question upon having been exposed to them. Take spiders for instance:


Now most people (like 99%) feel this way about them…

Carrie Cuppett Spiker – Pinterest

Me personally? Spiders are weavers of their own fates and destinies, for most spin webs to provide themselves with security and nourishment. Not to mention the fact that webbing can also be used to insulate a mother’s eggs until they hatch, while males are typically cannibalized by the female following sexy-time. I.e. spiders emanate a POWERFUL feminine energy that understandably frightens those who have been conditioned under a patriarchal system that flaunts masculinity and likewise denigrates femininity (there’s a reason men get paid more on average – inequality is an injustice).

Now is there an origin story that thoroughly conveys what we’re trying to get at? Oh for sure since mythological tales are ripe with symbolism!

Gustave Doré’s Arachne

The Greek Goddess Athena specialized in weaving tapestries. However, a mortal woman by the name of Arachne was also gifted since her art drew crowds of humans and spirits alike! So Athena challenged the mortal and ultimately destined the woman to weave her fate for the rest of eternity. Why? Well most mythological tales have more than one version, although each story produces the same result. I.e. Athena turns Arachne into a spider so that she, along with her decedents, will forever create works of art and beauty.

Spider Webs – Pinterest

So believe it or not, this author gets all giddy and cheery whenever he sees an eight-legged companion. Why? Because spiders are the very symbol of two extremes joining to create a revered force in nature. Another way of putting it – they are both extremely agile and fragile, for most arachnids will die or at the very least suffer life debilitating injuries if they happen to fall more than a foot from the ground. Just think of how much energy it takes to squish one underneath the sole of your shoe and you’ll understand where I’m coming from. However, they are some of THE most well-adapted and agile hunters on Mother Earth. Why do you think you find them everywhere?

Can you tell I love spiders? I mean, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if that wasn’t the case. But alas I digress! Onto the dream…

The house reeked as the stale air invaded my senses. Each window flew open to cajole torrents of wind from the raging storm to rest within the shaded halls and twisted corridors.

There wasn’t a soul in sight, although I felt a certain unease as it gripped my chest and throat. For breathing may have inadvertently attracted the attention of the unsavory company that dwelled within the condemned residence.

It was not long before cascading webs of silk soothed the emotional current bustling within, and it readily became apparent that my friends would not be far. Indeed this was the case – for the weavers of freedom and fate soon made their presence known.

Thankfully so and not a moment too late! For at that time my narcissistic, poor excuse for a mother arrived to ensnare me once more. Much like a crustacean gripping prey between its pincers. However, the webs successfully prevented her toxicity from rolling over me as it once had. She kept her distance, though I must make mention of how distasteful her appearance was!

“Brother! Oh brother!” bemoaned a familiar voice from the shadows.

A call I had not heard for sometime. But then again, I readily chose to break my connections to those who preferred to discourage my existence as opposed to supporting it with good grace and blood related inclusion.

“How long has it been since we last spoke?!” The voice grew louder and louder as it drew nearer my person. Go away, I thought – I have no business with you. However the source would not budge, but rather chose to further engage an increasingly disinterested dreamer.

At that time a face emerged from the darkness and greeted me with a hollowed expression of joy. I denied my former kin the opportunity to approach, although we spoke briefly. We then walked throughout the endless halls as if we had intended on discovering something of worth. A trinket? A memory? Something that was once lost would soon be found.

It wasn’t long before my brother and I reached a room that harbored personal items of value to those who claimed to own them. My eyes peered through the dimly lit chamber as if they intended on acquiring what we came to obtain. They took it from me, so I intended on taking it back – or so I thought.

Suddenly my hands gripped a leather-bound text that felt oh so important to those who claimed to own it. I knew my journey would be completed soon enough. At that time I pulled a small Bic lighter from my coat pocket before igniting the flame of freedom and hope underneath the hulk of dead forest resting in my palm. Oh how the flames enveloped that text!

“What are you doing?! She’ll know and she’ll punish you for such heresies!” cried my brother.

“She took everything away from me, so I’m here to ensure she cannot hold onto that which was never hers. Worry not, but rise! Overcome her ruthless presence and be rid of her as I have done.” Although my brother shook his head in disbelief, no matter how much my voice vibrated the words with fervor and purpose.

For how could one accomplish this? It honestly cannot be done if one chooses to remain entwined, however you can stand up for yourself and deny her the opportunity to beat you into submission. We spoke of this briefly, but I soon found myself to be wasting breath on a nincompoop who had no intention of altering his fate.

I left shortly after – walking away from the hollowed husk of a house, at least for the time being. The winds kicked up as lightening filled the air. A flood of energy shook the yard and the trees with it. Although I awoke to find myself laying peacefully across my bed – safely anchored to the world most recognize as reality.


Well I hope you had fun reading that because I certainly enjoyed writing it 🙂 In any case, it was a rather peculiar yet purposeful dream in that I retrieved something that my narcissistic mother had wrongfully taken from me. Now do I actually know what that was? Not really, although I personally find comfort in knowing that I can heal from the abuse and trauma she subjected me to. I.e. a loss of childhood being returned to its rightful owner.

The spiders were obviously guardians since they prevented her from approaching me within arm’s reach. Although the storm and fire symbolize (to me at least) forces that aim to foster destruction and the resulting rebirth. Winds of change – slash and burn. But I burned the book, so wouldn’t that defeat the point of retrieving that which was supposedly taken from me? No. Why? Simply because what was written, or rather carved in stone, could no longer be used to define my life. For history does not exist if it lacks a written record to immortalize it.

But aren’t dreams just ridiculous and fantasy-based? No. Why? Because I said so.

Just kidding, but the subconscious uses images to convey information to those who perceive them. For can you remember the last time you held a conversation with your inner-most workings? This writer cannot, although I know full well how powerful the subconscious is when dealing with functional or dysfunctional programming. Whatever finds its way swimming around one’s mind noodle will eventually manifest in the physical world because the two are inextricably linked.

This is the reason why archetypal myths of old resonate so well with modern day mindsets. They have worked since their inception because symbols do not simply vanish in the deep crevices of the universe once their creator ceases to draw breath. In fact, they change and morph with the environment that cradles them. Why do you think Spiderman is so popular?

Brightest Young Things – Spiderman Memes

Many blessings.

On that note here are some pics of me being Spiderman.

2012-09-26 11.01.08

2013-10-30 16.50.04.jpg

2014-07-30 18.56.28.jpg


Now that I’ve made some of you squirm…bahahaha, we’ll finish with a funny video. Trust me when I say it’s not what you think!

Ladies and gents, for more information on the crack spider’s bitch…

Spiders On Drugs

Hey there, reader! My name is Aaron Carlisle and I’m Spiderman 🙂 sort of, it’s the thought that counts. Stop by the lounge and check out the methods and techniques I’ve personally used to extricate myself from the throngs of narcissistic abuse and parental neglect (23 years to be exact). Many blessings!


Please and thank you 😀

Featured Image: Funnel Web – Close Up Pics of Everyday Things


  1. Lol…web building is for suckas…I’ve seen that video before but it’s still funny.
    I like spiders too. I wouldn’t have them as pets though, so I probably respect them more than actually like them. I also wouldn’t put them in my hand like you do but it doesn’t make me squirm to see it ether.

    I love to watch a spider build a web and get pics of completed ones if I can. I also capture them in a jar when I see them in the house and put them outside sometimes. Sometimes I just leave them, like if I see them in a web.

    I did not know though that they can be seriously injured when falling more than a foot. I will be more careful now when putting them outside. I used to just kind of flick them out of the jar, but I will be more gentle now.

    Loved the dream too and how they protected you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s more symbolic really. Still trying to put that into words that make sense. Sometimes the feelings don’t translate too well.

        I like all animals. But you’ve asked a question for me to ponder. I’m, I guess you could say in the shock state of trauma much of the time so I don’t really know myself too well.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s okay, that’s why we’re here! To learn that is…Tiger patently waits while utilizing it’s cunning agility to leap at opportunities for success and prosperity.

        Check out Ted Andrews and Stephen Farmer for more =)

        Liked by 1 person

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